I'm a co-author. It's one of the many hats I wear. Today I got my proof back for my second project which drops in just a couple weeks and dare I say it isn't the worst thing I've ever written. It did however, make me pause.
There's a small paragraph near the end dedicated to my kids and grandson, and reading it made me humble.
Parenting is hard. Knowing if you're nailing it or failing it is even harder most times. I'm not an easy parent. I am by my own admission a little rough around the edges. I'm not afraid of whether my kids are mad at me or not. Not if I have their best interest at heart. I am not above admitting I'm wrong when I am. I think it's good for them to see even parents make mistakes, and that even into adulthood, we are always growing and learning.
My daughter and I can be at odds more often than not. Not because of a lack of love, but because we are very similar in a lot of ways. Equally as hard headed as we are sensitive. I can come across cold at times. Feelings can get hurt.
So today when I read my proof, and read the paragraph about my kids, I logically had to text her to tell her she would be a part of a global project (her name not publicized of coarse) and tell her even when she's mad at me, she's never far from my heart. She was excited and congratulated me, and we had a brief text conversation. Part of me wondered if this was just our relationship now. Short and sweet. Her raising her own family with her fiancé and new born, me off living my next chapter in life, or whether there's a point at which the bond comes back together?
It's strange when your kids grow up. You dare them to be independent, but when they do, it's a bitter sweet mix between pride and a tiny bit of pain. For a moment you wonder if they need you anymore, and you wonder if that in itself is the definition of success...their ability to fly?
So sweet daughter, thank you for choosing me as your mama, and thank you for being an inspiration to me. I love you dearly for it. Now, go conquer the world, or the day, or just perhaps the nap I'm sure you're desperately needing!
See everyone tomorrow.