FULL CIRCLE MOMENT...

It had been a long week, it was a Friday night and I wasn't feeling the commitment I made 2 weeks prior. I had extended an invitation to 2 other people I knew so not attending wasn't really an option. I dragged my ass out of bed from my nap, put some pants on, and headed to our local theatre.

A local outreach program was putting on an event to educate those who wanted to attend about addiction and mental health. I wanted to go simply for the education aspect. Our small city of just over 100, 000 is riddled with this epidemic and I was curious to hear what anyone was doing about it.

Neither of my friends could make it that night so I quietly grabbed a seat near the top where no one would see me, and waited for the event to start.

From the moment the organizer started speaking at the podium on stage everything changed. The stats she was giving were mind boggling and I suddenly went from education mode to work mode. Not something I was expecting! Barely a paragraph in, I knew I needed her for a project my business partner and I were working on. We needed her knowledge and her links to resources.

They had 3 guest speakers who use substances get up and tell their stories. One I knew from town, the other two I didn't, but I found myself leaning in and thinking about my own tragic story about my biological mother who passed of an overdose in 1994. Had she felt the same way these people did in her final days? In any of them? The desperation poured from these speakers as they emphasized their pain and failed screams for help. I thought of my project. This was so relevant I wanted to leap out of my chair and call my business partner. "THIS is why I'm here" I thought to myself.

During intermission I approached the organizer and asked if she would be willing to help on my upcoming project and as I was standing there the words "is there any chance I can volunteer with your organization?" came vomiting out of my mouth. "Where did that come from?" I thought. It was met with "yes of course!"

Again, I was meant to come here. My dream 10 years ago when I moved to the lower mainland was to work with mental health and addictions. When my marriage ended it was more important to work and support my young son than go to college and scrape by on meager funding. As I stood there trying not to take up to much of her time, I thought.....full. circle. moment.

I was about to do exactly what I've wanted to do this whole time, just in a different way. I may not hold a diploma, or sit in a fancy office, but I would be going to be doing the work I find so important and that means so much to me because of my biological mother. Work that might have changed her life.

When I left the theatre at 9 pm that night my heart was full and I was feeling inspired. I thought again of the project and text my business partner of my plans. I thought of my biological mother and hoped that even though I couldn't save her life perhaps I could save someone else's mom by diving in head first into something new. I shook my head at the thought that her story, and stories like the ones I had just heard are happening. How do we change this? Where does it end? Where the fuck is the help? The fact that organizations like these are necessary, particularly in a first world country is heart breaking. That took me back to "this is where I'm supposed to be" and this upcoming project is a part of that. The pieces are coming together in ways I never saw coming and it puts me in awe.

I'm grateful I forced myself out that night in spite of my desire to fight it. I had no way of knowing that this would be the outcome! Let's go help some people....

-S