Nothing against dating, if that's your goal for 2024. I guess I should be more deliberate in my statement, that I'm not entirely against the idea, more against the search. If something were to happen organically, I'm open to it....I'm just not actively seeking it. No dating sites, no blind dates, no friends searching their little black books.
I get that lots of people say they're "ok not dating" and don't really mean it, but I genuinely am. My therapist asked me last session what one of the big things that's changed for me since starting therapy this time around has been, and "being ok with being alone" was my answer. It's taken a while to get back here. In my 20's it was super easy for me, then I was married through my mid 20's into my mid 30's. I did the rebound circuit after that, and then was actively seeking it out only to be met with one mismatch after another. I sort of lost my way I think. I was looking for a connection in men, instead of figuring out what the missing connection was.
FYI: It was me.
I had spent the better part of 2 decades with men and lost myself in the process.
I'm back! I'm messy at the moment. Unpacking suitcases is no place to start a relationship, at least not in my opinion. I'm working on figuring out who I am because if I'm honest, I'm in transition, so that answer isn't really clear. I'm almost an empty nester, my daughter is engaged and just had a son of her own now, my parents are getting older, my work is a series of endless irons in the fire while i figure out my next move, and I'm in the midst of going down a biological family rabbit hole.....trust me.....noone wants to sign up for this nonsense of emotions.
The silver lining I'm doing the work. I'm getting stronger. I'm getting wiser, and somewhere on the other side of all this tangled yarn will be an opportunity to jump back into the dating pool. Just not right now. The path I'm on at the moment is a solo journey. One of the things I've always had friends tell me, is they admire my ability to do things alone. See a movie, go for a hike, pick a restaurant...and I always found that interesting. I don't make these decisions to be admired, I just do them because I refuse to miss out on life because my people are busy, or simply because I'm single. We get one life....
Anyone else choosing the single life in 2024?